Sunday, March 20, 2011

Zen Abstract or Pure Hell?

so, i got an abstract painting of mine, entitled "Zen Window," into a juried show! at the reception, i spot an older woman intently examining my work and bio, and whispering to her husband. wow! a possible sale?

so i sidle up behind them and mumble, "love it or hate it?"

'I don't understand it," she says, angrily, in a German accent.

"well, it's an abstract," i say, taken aback, "it's emotion, a feeling."

another woman walks by and says, "you painted this? it's beautiful!"

at this, critic woman actually rolls her eyes and makes a prune mouth! obviously she has never been near ZEN in her long life. yet me, silly me, still trying to be kind, explain that many artists move beyond the figural into abstract.

"I know," she spits out, "I'm an artist, I paint abstracts, and I never get into these shows." ah ha, so that's it. and, people pleaser that i am, ask gently if she ever comes to the museum gatherings where people share their work. "I did once. I didn't get anything out of it." oh well, nice to meet you, Ingrid," I say, and beat a hasty yet long past due retreat...

now why, flighty person that i am, could i have not been drawn, like a moth to a flame, to the woman who loved my work, rather than a moth drawn to...well...poo? another artistic mystery!
(and now, oops, i uploaded the wrong painting. and i don't know how to undo it. but at least it isn't abstract!)

Friday, March 11, 2011

Laughing Gas or Peyote?

The Gentle Art of Dental Arts

so i finally tried laughing gas. at the long dreaded dentist. started to time travel, like near death, and maybe hallucinate a little, so my brain just said "think of it as a peyote ceremony." huh? never had that either.

the dentist behind my head seemed anti-social. so i looked on YELP when i got home to read his reviews. one said, "this man either hates his job or all mankind." ayeee!

figures, after the months of dread i'd get "mr. charm" assigned to me by insurance. but laughing gas helps, inspite of a hangover later.

"see you in two weeks for the other side," he said and walked out.

i have two weeks to find a new dentist, or else...what? medical marijuana? peyote?