Showing posts with label artist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label artist. Show all posts

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Zen Abstract or Pure Hell?


so, i got an abstract painting of mine, entitled "Zen Window," into a juried show! at the reception, i spot an older woman intently examining my work and bio, and whispering to her husband. wow! a possible sale?

so i sidle up behind them and mumble, "love it or hate it?"

'I don't understand it," she says, angrily, in a German accent.

"well, it's an abstract," i say, taken aback, "it's emotion, a feeling."

another woman walks by and says, "you painted this? it's beautiful!"

at this, critic woman actually rolls her eyes and makes a prune mouth! obviously she has never been near ZEN in her long life. yet me, silly me, still trying to be kind, explain that many artists move beyond the figural into abstract.

"I know," she spits out, "I'm an artist, I paint abstracts, and I never get into these shows." ah ha, so that's it. and, people pleaser that i am, ask gently if she ever comes to the museum gatherings where people share their work. "I did once. I didn't get anything out of it." oh well, nice to meet you, Ingrid," I say, and beat a hasty yet long past due retreat...

now why, flighty person that i am, could i have not been drawn, like a moth to a flame, to the woman who loved my work, rather than a moth drawn to...well...poo? another artistic mystery!
(and now, oops, i uploaded the wrong painting. and i don't know how to undo it. but at least it isn't abstract!)


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Anxiety and Depression Get Married

yikes. i go to the holistic dentist today for a second opinion. i am scared. i have recently discovered that feeling anxious about anxiety makes it worse. hmm.

i have a lifetime of dental fears and nightmares, combined with guilt that i waited so long to go, and resentment that i was too poor to go, and shame because i should have gone anyway because the truth is i bought canvases and paints and went to Santa Fe and out to the pub a few times instead of saving money for the dentist.

and i felt justified, as i had taken a vow of poverty to be an artist. i now know all of that to be bullshit. or chickenshit, as it were.

so now anxiety and depression have gotten married and set up housekeeping in my brain. how pleasant!

the brushing with soap experiment continues...i have now also tried tea tree oil soap. it hardly has a flavor, yet strangely, i prefer the olive oil. i think there may be something wrong with me...maybe the gingivitis has travelled to my brain.