Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Anxiety and Depression Get Married

yikes. i go to the holistic dentist today for a second opinion. i am scared. i have recently discovered that feeling anxious about anxiety makes it worse. hmm.

i have a lifetime of dental fears and nightmares, combined with guilt that i waited so long to go, and resentment that i was too poor to go, and shame because i should have gone anyway because the truth is i bought canvases and paints and went to Santa Fe and out to the pub a few times instead of saving money for the dentist.

and i felt justified, as i had taken a vow of poverty to be an artist. i now know all of that to be bullshit. or chickenshit, as it were.

so now anxiety and depression have gotten married and set up housekeeping in my brain. how pleasant!

the brushing with soap experiment continues...i have now also tried tea tree oil soap. it hardly has a flavor, yet strangely, i prefer the olive oil. i think there may be something wrong with me...maybe the gingivitis has travelled to my brain.

11 comments:

Angel-Star said...

wish me luck

martinealison said...

Bonne chance ne craignez plus ces "menteurs d'arracheurs de dents"!!! Ils sont devenus des agneaux, aussi doux et surtout vous ne souffrirez plus...
AmitiƩs.

Ralph said...

Nah no luck needed you will be just fine. It is not the dentist I fear it is the hairdresser. I hate going there. Been missing reading your blogs glad I am back

Roland D. Yeomans said...

The dentist knows that you are going to be nervous. And he knows his business. If you begin to suspect he does not, you can always ask to be excused.

It is no shame to be afraid or to have been in tight financial straits, unable to get the dental treatment you wanted. Life happens to all of us.

You will make it through this, one moment at a time. And most fears turn out afterwards not to have been as terrible as we had imagined, Roland

Angel-Star said...

thank you everyone for your reassuring comments

Tahereh said...

wow intense! let us know how it goes!!

wishing you luck :D

Kit Courteney said...

Thank you for your lovely comments on my blog. I agree... an ugly word. Love Iairies.

From one quirky to another - Good luck :0)

wit 1996 said...

I understand the fear!
courage!!
grtgs, Willy.

Angel-Star said...

you are all so kind...thanks!

Sharon McPherson: AUTHOR said...

Ye I can remember going out to the pub a few times and not saving for important stuff like savings accounts, pension plans etc and now I am obsessed with savings for pensions etc and don't go to the pub enough!!!!

Good luck :)

Angel-Star said...

absolutely, sharon...oh i do wish we could meet at the pub right now and tie one on and forget being serious...YES